Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Healthy loving

At times, I get confused regarding healthy love.  Jesus has instructed me to love all people.  However, I can't find one single time that He tells us to love in an unhealthy way.

Recently, I was in a situation where a person was sucking the life out of me.  She was being very passive aggressive and manipulative.  Sadly, she is very insecure and demands that those around her take care of her feelings, including her children.  As I was sitting talking with her, I felt my frustration rise and my skin began to crawl.  I'm just being honest...

When the event was finally over and I was able to leave, I felt like a ticking time bomb.  I don't like being manipulated with pouting, poor me comments, and sighs.I went home and talked with my husband.  I told him all of my feelings, including feeling very badly for even being frustrated.  I was feeling like a bad Jesus girl because I was at my wits end with the situation.  Why is it that if I don't hear birds singing, I feel guilt??  

My husband said something that made me step back and really think.  He said, "Don't you think this is what you are supposed to be feeling?  You weren't called by Jesus to be a punching bag or to love in an unhealthy way."  He told me that it was good that this situation made me uncomfortable because true love will never be carried in on manipulation and games.

I struggle with this love thing.  I have realized that I don't feel like I am loving if I'm not pleasing people.  These two things are not one in the same.  Love is not enabling someone to stay in a mindset or situation that causes them pain.  If I say exactly what someone wants to hear or behave in unhealthy ways, that is not love.  Love can be hard, but love is what we have been called to do.  True love is a healthy, unselfish love that always points to Jesus.  True love is grace, mercy, and forgiveness without any games attached.